


Home (SEASON ONE, EPISODE NINE)

by ackles_ass_equation



Series: Superghetto [10]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Canon, Episode: s01e09 Home, script
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-06
Updated: 2016-05-06
Packaged: 2018-06-06 17:02:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6762535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ackles_ass_equation/pseuds/ackles_ass_equation
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Sam has nightmarez of they oldschool home, tha brothers return ta Lawrence, Kansas ta investigate. They discover dat a freshly smoked up crew has moved tha fuck into tha Winchesterz home, n' tha biatch is tha one dat Sam has been trippin about. Da crew has been hearin n' seein frightenin thangs, n' tha brothers be thinkin it might be hustled by tha thang dat capped they mutha n' shit. They enlist tha help of they fatherz psycho ta rid tha doggy den of tha mad salty poltergeist.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. NOW

FADE IN: LAWRENCE, KANSAS. NIGHT fo' realz. A lil' biatch, JENNY, is chillin on tha floor of her home, unpackin boxes. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch comes across a photo of her muthafuckin ass n' her homeboy at they wedding. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch begins ta cry just as her daughter, SARI, comes up in tha room.

 **SARI  
** Mommy, biatch?

JENNY looks up.

 **JENNY  
** Yo, dopeie. Why aren’t you up in bed?

 **SARI  
** There’s suttin' up in mah closet.

CUT TO: SARI’S BEDROOM. JENNY opens tha closet doors n' looks inside as SARI watches from her bed.

 **JENNY  
** See, biatch? There’s not a god damn thang there.

 **SARI  
** Yo ass sure?

 **JENNY  
** I’m sure. Now, come on. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Git tha fuck into bed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka!

SARI crawls tha fuck into bed n' JENNY tucks her in.

 **SARI  
** I don’t like dis house.

 **JENNY  
** You’re just not used ta it yet. But you n' yo' brutha n' mah crazy ass- we is goin ta be straight-up aiiight here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. I promise. [Bitch kisses SARI on her forehead.] I gots a straight-up boner fo' you, biatch.

Bitch turns off tha light n' gets up ta leave tha room.

 **SARI  
** Da chair.

 **JENNY  
** Okay. [Bitch moves a cold-ass lil chair under tha doorknob of tha closet.] Da chair. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Just ta be safe.

SARI lies down n' goes ta bed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! JENNY leaves.

Afta returnin ta tha livin room, JENNY continues unpackin boxes. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch stops when dat freaky freaky biatch hears tha sound of scratchin comin from tha basement.

 **JENNY  
** Please, God, don’t let it be rats.

A few moments later, JENNY goes downstairs tha fuck into tha basement wit a gangbangin' flashlight. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch tries turnin on a light yo, but tha switches don’t work.

 **JENNY  
** Terrific.

Da scene returns ta SARI’S bedroom. Da chair begins movin on its own, away from tha closet doors. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SARI sits up in her bed, wide-eyed n' afraid. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Back up in tha basement, JENNY keeps lookin around. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! On tha floor, her big-ass booty sees a big-ass black trunk. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch kneels down n' opens it, pullin up oldschool photoz of tha Winchesta crew. Written on tha back of a picture is tha lyrics, “Da Winchesters. John, Mary, Dean, n' Little Sammy.” JENNY smiles. In SARI’S bedroom, tha closet doors open by theyselves. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Standin up in tha closet is what tha fuck be lookin like a thug yo, but it is entirely made outta fire. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SARI screams, n' tha screen goes black.


	2. ACT ONE

FADE IN: MOTEL ROOM. NIGHT. While SAM is chillin, his thugged-out lil' punk-ass begins trippin of JENNY. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch is inside her bedroom, beatboxin fo' help. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM wakes up, confused.

Da next morning, while DEAN is on tha computer, SAM is drawin a picture of a tree.

 **DEAN  
** All right. I’ve been cruisin’ some joints, n' you can put dat on yo' toast. I be thinkin I found all dem muthafuckas fo' our next gig fo' realz. A fishin trawla found off tha coast of Cali- its crew vanished. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! And, uh, we gots some cattle mutilations up in Westside Texas yo. Hey. [SAM looks up from his fuckin lil' drawing.] Am I borin you wit dis hustlin evil stuff?

 **SAM  
** No. I’m listening. Keep going.

 **DEAN  
** And, here, a Sacramento playa blasted his dirty ass up in tha head. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Three times. [Dude waves his hand up in front of SAM’S face.] Any of these thangs blowin’ up yo' skirt, pal?

 **SAM  
** [lookin at his thugged-out lil' picture] Wait. I’ve peeped this.

 **DEAN  
** Seen what, biatch? [SAM gets up from tha bed n' goes searchin all up in his fuckin lil' duffel bag.] What is you bustin, biatch?

SAM findz a photo of they crew from when da thug was a funky-ass baby yo. Dude compares tha tree up in tha photo ta his fuckin lil' drawing. They is tha same.

 **SAM  
** Dean, I know where we gotta go next.

 **DEAN  
** Where?

 **SAM  
** Back home- back ta Kansas.

 **DEAN  
** Okay, random. Where’d dat come from?

 **SAM  
** [showin tha photo ta DEAN] All right, um, dis photo was taken up in front of our oldschool house, right, biatch? Da doggy den where Momma died?

 **DEAN  
** Yeah.

 **SAM  
** And it didn’t burn down, right, biatch? I mean, not straight-up, they rebuilt it, right?

 **DEAN  
** I guess so, yeah. What tha hell is you talkin’ about?

 **SAM  
** Okay, look, dis is gonna sound wild-ass but….the playas whoz ass live up in our oldschool doggy den- I be thinkin they might be up in danger.

 **DEAN  
** Why would you be thinkin that?

 **SAM  
** Uh…it’s just, um….look, just trust me on this, aiiight, biatch?

Dude starts ta strutt away, n' DEAN bigs up his muthafuckin ass.

 **DEAN  
** Wait, whoa, whoa, trust yo slick ass?

 **SAM  
** Yeah.

 **DEAN  
** Come on, dude, that’s weak. Yo ass gotta break me off a lil bit mo' than that.

 **SAM  
** I can’t straight-up explain it be all.

 **DEAN  
** Well, tough cause I gots dem finger-lickin' chickens wit tha siz-auce. I’m not goin’ anywhere until you do.

SAM sighs. DEAN waits expectantly.

 **SAM  
** I have these nightmares.

 **DEAN  
** [nodding] I’ve noticed.

 **SAM  
** And sometimes….they come true.

 **DEAN  
** [stunned] Come again?

 **SAM  
** Look, Dean….I dreamt bout Jessica’s dirtnap- fo' minutes before it happened.

 **DEAN  
** Sam, playas have weird dreams, man. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I’m shizzle it’s just a cold-ass lil coincidence.

Dude sits down on tha bed.

 **SAM  
** Fuck dat shit, I dreamt bout tha blood dripping, her on tha ceiling, tha fire, every last muthafuckin thang, n' I didn’t do anythang bout it ‘cause I didn’t believe it fo' realz. And now I’m trippin bout dat tree, bout our house, n' bout some biatch inside beatboxin fo' help. I mean, that’s where all dat shiznit started, dude, dis has ta mean something, right?

 **DEAN  
** [overwhelmed] I don’t know.

 **SAM  
** [sittin down across from DEAN] What do you mean you don’t know, Dean, biatch? This biatch might be up in dark shiznit n' shit. I mean, dis might even be tha thang dat capped Momma n' Jessica!

 **DEAN  
** All right, just slow down, would ya, biatch? [Dude standz up n' begins pacing.] I mean, first you tell me dat you’ve gots tha Shining, biatch? And then you tell me dat I’ve gotta go back home, biatch? Especially when….

 **SAM  
** When what?

 **DEAN  
** [sadly] When I swore ta mah dirty ass dat I would never go back there?

 **SAM  
** [softly] Look, Dean, we gotta check dis out. Just ta make sure.

 **DEAN  
** I know our phat asses do.

CUT TO: EXT- WINCHESTER HOUSE. DEAN n' SAM pull up outside tha house.

 **SAM  
** Yo ass gonna be all right, man?

 **DEAN  
** Let me git back ta you on dis shit.

They git outta tha hoopty fo' realz. Afta knockin on tha front door, JENNY lyrics dat shit. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM is shocked dat her ass is tha same ol' dirty biatch from his fuckin lil' dream.

 **JENNY  
** Yes?

 **DEAN  
** Sorry ta bother you, ma’am yo, but we’re wit tha Federal-

 **SAM  
** I’m Sam Winchester, n' dis is mah brother, Dean. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. We used ta live here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. Yo ass know, we was just drivin’ by, n' we was wonderin if we could come peep tha oldschool place.

 **JENNY  
** Winchesta n' shit. Yeah, that’s so funky. Yo ass know, I be thinkin I found a shitload of yo' photos tha other night.

 **DEAN  
** Yo ass did, biatch?

JENNY nodz n' steps aside.

 **JENNY  
** Come on in. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

They go inside.

Inside tha house, tha three of dem git all up in tha kitchen. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SARI be all up in tha table bustin homework. RITCHIE, her jumpy toddla brother, is up in his thugged-out lil' playpen.

 **RITCHIE  
** Juice biaaatch! Juice biaaatch! Juice biaaatch! Juice!

 **JENNY  
** That’s Ritchie yo. He’s kind of a juice junkie. [Bitch takes a sippy cup outta tha refrigerator n' handz it ta RITCHIE.] But, hey, at least da thug won’t git scurvy. [Bitch strutts over ta SARI.] Sari, dis is Sam n' Dean. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. They used ta live here.

 **SARI  
** Yo!

DEAN waves.

 **SAM  
** Sari.

 **DEAN  
** So, you just moved in?

 **JENNY  
** Yeah, from Wichita.

 **DEAN  
** Yo ass gots crew here, or….?

 **JENNY  
** No. I just, uh….needed a gangbangin' fresh start, that’s all. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So, freshly smoked up town, freshly smoked up thang- I mean, as soon as I find one. New house.

 **SAM  
** So, how tha fuck you likin’ it so far?

 **JENNY  
** Well, uh, all due respect ta yo' childhood home- I mean, I’m shizzle you had fuckin shitloadz of aiiight memories here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. [DEAN smilez weakly.] But dis place has its issues.

 **SAM  
** What do you mean?

 **JENNY  
** Well, it’s just gettin old. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Like tha wiring, you know, biatch? We’ve gots flickerin lights almost hourly.

 **DEAN  
** Oh, that’s too bad. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! What else?

 **JENNY  
** Um…sink’s backed up, there’s rats up in tha basement. [Bitch pauses.] I’m sorry bout dat bullshit. I don’t mean ta complain.

 **DEAN  
** [not offended] No yo. Has you done peeped tha rats or have you just heard scratching?

 **JENNY  
** It’s just tha scratching, actually.

 **SARI  
** Mom, biatch? [JENNY kneels down next ta her muthafuckin ass.] Ask dem if dat shiznit was here when they lived here.

 **SAM  
** What, Sari?

 **SARI  
** Da thang up in mah closet.

 **JENNY  
** Oh, no, baby, there was not a god damn thang up in they closets, n' you can put dat on yo' toast. [to SAM n' DEAN] Right?

 **SAM  
** Right. Fuck dat shit, no, of course not.

 **JENNY  
** Biatch had a nightmare tha other night.

 **SARI  
** I wasn’t trippin. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Well shiiiit, it came tha fuck into mah bedroom- n' dat shiznit was on fire.

SAM n' DEAN is shocked.

CUT TO: EXT.- WINCHESTER HOUSE. DEAN n' SAM is struttin back ta tha car.

 **SAM  
** Yo ass hear that, biatch? A figure on fire.

 **DEAN  
** And dat biatch, Jenny, dat was tha biatch up in yo' dreams?

 **SAM  
** Yeah fo' realz. And you hear what tha fuck dat biiiiatch was poppin' off about, biatch? Scratching, flickerin lights, both signz of a malevolent spirit, n' I aint talkin bout no muthafuckin Jack Daniels neither.

 **DEAN  
** Yeah, well, I’m just freaked up dat yo' weirdo visions is comin’ true.

 **SAM  
** [panicked] Well, forget bout dat fo' a minute. Da thang up in tha house, do you be thinkin it’s tha thang dat capped Momma n' Jessica?

 **DEAN  
** I don’t know!

 **SAM  
** Well, I mean, has it come back or has it been here tha whole time?

 **DEAN  
** Or maybe it’s suttin' else entirely, Sam, our phat asses don’t know yet.

 **SAM  
** Well, dem playas is up in danger, Dean. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. We gotta git ‘em outta dat house.

 **DEAN  
** And we will.

 **SAM  
** Fuck dat shit, I mean now, nahmeean?

 **DEAN  
** And how tha fuck you gonna do that, huh, biatch? Yo ass gots a rap dat she’s gonna believe?

 **SAM  
** Then what tha fuck is we supposed ta do?

CUT TO: GAS STATION.

 **DEAN  
** Us playas just gotta chill out, that’s all. Yo ass know, if dis was any other kind of thang, what tha fuck would our phat asses do, biatch?

SAM sighs.

 **SAM  
** We’d try ta git into what tha fuck we was dealin’ with. We’d dig tha fuck into tha history of tha house.

 **DEAN  
** Exactly, except dis time, we already know what tha fuck happened.

 **SAM  
** Yeah yo, but how tha fuck much do we know, biatch? I mean, how tha fuck much do you straight-up remember?

 **DEAN  
** Bout dat night, you mean?

 **SAM  
** Yeah.

 **DEAN  
** Not much. I remember tha fire…the heat. [Dude pauses fo' a moment.] And then I carried you up tha front door.

 **SAM  
** Yo ass did?

 **DEAN  
** Yeah, what, you never knew that?

 **SAM  
** [bobbin his head.] No.

 **DEAN  
** And, well, you know Dad’s rap as well as I do. Momma was….was on tha ceilin fo' realz. And whatever put her there was long gone by tha time Dad found her muthafuckin ass.

 **SAM  
** And he never had a theory bout what tha fuck done did it?

 **DEAN  
** If da ruffneck did, he kept it ta his dirty ass. Dogg knows we axed his ass enough times.

 **SAM  
** Okay. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So, if we’re gonna git into what’s goin’ on now…we gotta git into what tha fuck happened back then. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch fo' realz. And peep if it’s tha same ol' dirty thang.

 **DEAN  
** Yeah. We’ll rap ta Dad’s playas, neighbors, playas whoz ass was there all up in tha time.

 **SAM  
** [afta a pause] Do dis feel like just another thang ta yo slick ass, biatch?

DEAN say not a god damn thang fo' a moment.

 **DEAN  
** I’ll be right back. I gotta git all up in tha bathroom.

Dude strutts away fo' realz. Afta turnin a cold-ass lil corner, da perved-out muthafucka standz next ta tha bathroom door n' takes up his beeper fo' realz. Afta makin shizzle no one can peep him, da ruffneck dials a number.

 **VOICEMAIL  
** This is Jizzy Winchesta n' shit. If dis be a emergency, call mah son, Dean at 866-907-3235.

Da beep sounds.

 **DEAN  
** Dad, biatch? I know I’ve left you lyrics before. I don’t even know if you’ll git ‘em. [Dude clears his cold-ass throat.] But I’m wit Sam fo' realz. And we’re up in Lawrence fo' realz. And there’s somethin’ up in our oldschool house. I don’t know if it’s tha thang dat capped Momma or not yo, but….[His voice breaks yo. Dude pauses, barely keepin his dirty ass together.]…I don’t know what tha fuck ta do. [Dude begins ta cry like a muthafucka.] So, whatever you’re doin’, if you could git here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. Please. I need yo' help, Dad. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka!

Dude hangs up sadly, wit tears up in his wild lil' fuckin eyes.

CUT TO: INT.- WINCHESTER HOUSE. JENNY is showin a plumber ta tha kitchen, near tha sink.

 **JENNY  
** Fuck dat shit, sir, not a god damn thang weird down there, I promise. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sink just backed up on its own.

 **PLUMBER  
** Well, I’ll take a look.

 **JENNY  
** Thanks. Oh, aiiight, I’ll git outta yo' way.

Bitch leaves. Da plumber sets down his cold-ass tools n' begins lookin all up in tha pipes under tha sink fo' realz. A few feet away, by RITCHIE’S playpen, a toy monkey is chillin wit cymbals up in its hands. Without warning, tha monkey starts up. Well shiiiit, it clashes its cymbals together loudly while cacklin fo' realz. Afta a moment, tha plumber looks up, confused. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Da toy stops. Da plumber standz up n' tries turnin on tha garbage disposal yo, but it don’t work. Instead, he rolls up his sleeve n' sticks his hand down tha disposal. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack yo. Dude be thinkin he feels suttin' up in tha drain yo, but when tha pimpin' muthafucka takes his hand out, there aint a god damn thang there, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho yo. Dude sticks most of his thugged-out arm back down tha disposal. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Suddenly, tha garbage disposal starts up. Da plumber’s arm is bein straight-up torn apart as blood splattas everywhere, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho fo' realz. At tha same time, tha cymbal-clashin monkey starts up again, cacklin as tha plumber screams. Boy it's gettin hot, yes indeed it is. Da screen goes black.


	3. ACT TWO

FADE IN: GUENTHER’S AUTO REPAIR. DEAN n' SAM is poppin' off ta tha balla of tha garage.

 **DEAN  
** So you n' Jizzy Winchester, you used ta own dis garage together?

 **OWNER  
** Yeah, we used to, a long-ass time ago. Matta of fact, it must be, uh…twenty muthafuckin years since Jizzy disappeared. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! So why tha cops interested all of a sudden?

 **DEAN  
** Oh, we’re re-openin a shitload of our unsolved cases, n' tha Winchesta disappearizzle is one of ‘em.

 **OWNER  
** Oh, well, what tha fuck do you wanna know bout John?

 **DEAN  
** Well, whatever you remember, you know, whatever sticks up in yo' mind.

 **OWNER  
** Well…he was a stubborn bastard, I remember dis shit. [Dude laughs.] And, uh, whatever tha game, dat schmoooove muthafucka hated ta lose, you know, biatch? It’s dat whole Marine thang. [DEAN n' SAM nod.] But, oh, da perved-out muthafucka shizzle loved Mary fo' realz. And da ruffneck doted on dem kids.

 **SAM  
** But dat was before tha fire?

 **OWNER  
** That’s right.

 **SAM  
** Dude eva rap bout dat night?

 **OWNER  
** Fuck dat shit, not at first. I be thinkin da thug was up in shock.

 **SAM  
** Right. But eventually, biatch? What did da perved-out muthafucka say bout it?

 **OWNER  
** Oh, da thug wasn’t thinkin’ straight yo. Dude holla'd somethin’ caused dat fire n' capped Mary.

 **DEAN  
** Dude eva say what tha fuck done did it?

 **OWNER  
** Nothin’ done did dat shit. Dat shiznit was a accident- a electrical short up in tha ceilin or walls or somethin’. I begged his ass ta git some help yo, but….

 **DEAN  
** But what?

 **OWNER  
** Oh, he just gots worse n' worse.

 **DEAN  
** How?

 **OWNER  
** Oh, da perved-out muthafucka started readin’ these strange ol’ books yo. Dude started goin’ ta peep dis palm reader up in town.

 **DEAN  
** Palm reader, biatch? Uh, do you gotz a name?

 **OWNER  
** [scoffs] No.

CUT TO: IMPALA. Da hoopty is parked by a payphone, where SAM is lookin all up in a phonebook.

 **SAM  
** All right, so there be all dem psychos n' palm readaz up in town. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. There’s one of mah thugs named El Divino. There’s, uh-[Dude laughs.]-there’s tha Mysterious Mista Fortinsky. Uh, Missouri Moseley-

 **DEAN  
** Wait, wait. Missouri Moseley?

 **SAM  
** What?

 **DEAN  
** That’s a psycho?

 **SAM  
** Uh, yeah. Yeah, I guess so.

DEAN goes tha fuck into tha backseat of tha hoopty n' pulls up John’s journal.

 **DEAN  
** In Dad’s journal…here, peep all dis bullshit. [Dude opens ta tha straight-up original gangsta page.] First page, first sentence, read that.

 **SAM  
** [reading] I went ta Missouri n' I hustled tha real deal.

 **DEAN  
** [shrugging] I always thought he meant tha state.

CUT TO: INT- MISSOURI’S HOUSE. MISSOURI MOSELEY is escortin a playa outta tha doggy den while DEAN n' SAM sit on tha couch, waiting.

 **MISSOURI  
** All right, there, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. Don’t you worry ‘bout a thang. Yo crazy-ass hoe is wild-ass bout you, biatch. [Da playa props her n' dat thugged-out biiiatch closes tha front door behind his muthafuckin ass.] Whew. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Skanky bastard. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! His biatch is cold-bangin’ tha gardener.

 **DEAN  
** Why didn’t you tell him?

 **MISSOURI  
** Muthafuckas don’t come here fo' tha real deal. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack. They come fo' phat news. [Da thugs stare at her muthafuckin ass.] Well, biatch? Sam n' Dean, come on already, I ain’t gots all day. It make me wanna hollar playa! [Bitch leaves tha room. DEAN n' SAM exchange a cold-ass lil trippin look n' follow her tha fuck into tha next room.] Well, lemme peep ya. [Bitch laughs.] Oh, you thugs grew up thugged-out. [Bitch points a gangbangin' finger at DEAN.] And you was one goofy-lookin’ kid, like a muthafucka. [DEAN glares at her while SAM smirks.] Sam. [Bitch grabs his hand.] Oh, honey…I’m sorry bout yo' hoe yo, but it ain't no stoppin cause I be still poppin'. [Da thugs is shocked.] And yo' daddy- he’s missin’?

 **SAM  
** How’d you know all that?

 **MISSOURI  
** Well, you was just thinkin’ it just now, nahmeean, biatch?

SAM raises his wild lil' fuckin eyebrows, surprised.

 **DEAN  
** Well, where is he, biatch? Is he aiiight?

 **MISSOURI  
** I don’t know.

 **DEAN  
** Don’t know, biatch? Well, you’re supposed ta be a psycho, right?

 **MISSOURI  
** Boy, you peep me sawin’ some bony tramp up in half, biatch? Yo ass be thinkin I’m a magician, biatch? I may be able ta read thoughts n' sense energies up in a room yo, but I can’t just pull facts outta thin air. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sit,. Biiiatch please.[SAM smirks at DEAN n' they sit tha fuck down. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. MISSOURI snaps at DEAN.] Boy, you put yo' foot on mah fruity-ass malt liquor table, I’m ‘a whack you wit a spoon!

 **DEAN  
** I didn’t do anything.

 **MISSOURI  
** But you was thinkin’ bout dat shit.

DEAN raises his wild lil' fuckin eyebrows. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM smiles.

 **SAM  
** Okay. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So, our daddy- when did you first hook up him?

 **MISSOURI  
** Dude came fo' a readin fo' realz. A few minutes afta tha fire. I just holla'd at his ass what tha fuck was straight-up up there up in tha dark. I guess you could say…I drew back tha curtains fo' his muthafuckin ass.

 **DEAN  
** What bout tha fire, biatch? Do you know bout what tha fuck capped our mom?

 **MISSOURI  
** A lil. Yo crazy-ass daddy took me ta yo' crib yo. Dude was hopin’ I could sense tha echoes, tha fingerprintz of dis thang.

 **SAM  
** And could yo slick ass?

 **MISSOURI  
** I….

Bitch shakes her head.

 **SAM  
** What was it?

 **MISSOURI  
** [softly] I don’t know. Oh yo, but dat shiznit was evil.

CUT TO: INT.- WINCHESTER HOUSE. JENNY is on tha beeper up in tha kitchen while RITCHIE jumps round up in his thugged-out lil' playpen.

 **JENNY  
** Look, I feel just wack bout tha skanky man’s hand. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! […] Wait yo, but how tha fuck can I be held liable, biatch? […] Yeah yo, but I can’t afford a lawyer n' shit. [Bitch begins ta hear noises from upstairs.] Okay, listen, you just gotta let me call you back. [Bitch hangs up.] Ritchie, um, Mommy’s gonna be right back, aiiight?

 **RITCHIE  
** Okay.

JENNY leaves tha room.

CUT TO: MISSOURI’S HOUSE.

 **MISSOURI  
** So…you be thinkin somethin’ is back up in dat house?

 **SAM  
** Definitely.

 **MISSOURI  
** I don’t understand.

 **SAM  
** What?

 **MISSOURI  
** I haven’t been back inside yo, but I’ve been keepin’ a eye on tha place, n' it’s been on tha fuckin' down-low. No sudden dirtnaps, no freak accidents, n' you can put dat on yo' toast. Why is it actin’ up now?

 **SAM  
** I don’t know. But Dad goin missin n' Jizzica dyin n' now dis doggy den all goin' down at once- it just feels like something’s starting.

 **DEAN  
** That’s a cold-ass lil comfortin thought.

CUT TO: WINCHESTER HOUSE.

While RITCHIE is ridin' solo up in tha kitchen, one of tha screws on his thugged-out lil' playpen mysteriously comes outta place. One of tha playpen’s sides falls ta tha floor fo' realz. At tha same time, tha safety latch on tha door of tha refrigerator comes undone. Da refrigerator opens. Curious, RITCHIE strutts over ta dat shit. Inside, da perved-out muthafucka sees his sippy cup full of juice.

 **RITCHIE  
** Juicy.

Dude climbs tha fuck into tha refrigerator n' sits on one of tha shelves. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Suddenly, tha refrigerator door closes n' tha safety latch locks tha fuck into place. Da screen goes black.


	4. ACT THREE

FADE IN: WINCHESTER HOUSE. JENNY returns ta tha kitchen.

 **JENNY  
** Oh, baby, either our crazy asses have rats or Mommy’s goin crazy. [Bitch sees dat tha playpen is empty.] Ritchie, biatch? Ritchie?! [Panicked, she rushes tha fuck into tha other rooms n' tries ta find his muthafuckin ass.] Baby, where is yo slick ass?!

Bitch comes back tha fuck into tha kitchen, breathang heavily. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch sees gin n juice leakin up from inside tha refrigerator. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch goes over ta it n' opens tha door.

 **RITCHIE  
** Mommy.

 **JENNY  
** Oh mah Dogg hommie! [Bitch takes RITCHIE outta tha refrigerator n' holdz his ass up in her arms fo' realz. A few moments later, there be a knock on tha door. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch lyrics it n' sees SAM, DEAN, n' MISSOURI.] Sam, Dean. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. What is you bustin here?

 **SAM  
** Yo, Jenny. This is our playa, Missouri.

 **DEAN  
** If it’s not too much shit, we was hopin ta show her tha oldschool house. Yo ass know, fo' oldschool time’s sake.

 **JENNY  
** Yo ass know, dis isn’t a phat time. I’m kind of busy.

 **DEAN  
** Listen, Jenny, it’s blingin. [MISSOURI smacks his ass on tha back of tha head.] Ow!

 **MISSOURI  
** Give tha skanky hoe a funky-ass break, can’t you peep she’s upset, biatch? [to JENNY] Forgive dis boy, he means well, he’s just not tha sharpest tool up in tha shed yo, but hear me out.

DEAN looks stunned.

 **JENNY  
** Bout what?

 **MISSOURI  
** Bout dis house.

 **JENNY  
** What is you poppin' off about?

 **MISSOURI  
** I be thinkin you know what tha fuck I’m poppin' off about. Yo ass be thinkin there’s suttin' up in dis house, suttin' dat wants ta hurt yo' crew fo' realz. Am I mistaken?

 **JENNY  
** Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck is yo slick ass?

 **MISSOURI  
** We’re playas whoz ass can help, whoz ass can stop dis thang. But you’re gonna gotta trust us, just a lil.

JENNY looks unsure.

A few moments later, MISSOURI n' tha thugs is up in SARI’S bedroom.

 **MISSOURI  
** If there’s a thugged-out dark juice round here, dis room should be tha centa of dat shit.

 **SAM  
** Why?

 **MISSOURI  
** This used ta be yo' nursery, Sam. This is where all dat shiznit happened. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! [SAM glances all up in tha ceiling. While MISSOURI looks round tha room, DEAN pulls up his EMF meter.] That a EMF?

 **DEAN  
** Yeah.

 **MISSOURI  
** Amateur. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. [DEAN glares at her n' shiznit yo. Dude nudges SAM n' shows his ass dat tha EMF is beepin frantically.] I don’t know if you thugs should be pissed tha fuck off or relieved yo, but dis ain’t tha thang dat took yo' momma.

 **SAM  
** Wait, is you sure, biatch? [Bitch nods.] How tha fuck do you know?

 **MISSOURI  
** It isn’t tha same juice I felt tha last time I was here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. It’s somethin’ different.

 **DEAN  
** What tha fuck iz it?

 **MISSOURI  
** Not dat shit. [Bitch opens tha closet.] Them. There’s mo' than one spirit up in dis place.

 **DEAN  
** What is they bustin here?

 **MISSOURI  
** They’re here cuz of what tha fuck happened ta yo' crew. Yo ass see, all dem muthafuckin years ago, real evil came ta you, biatch. Well shiiiit, it strutted dis house. That kind of evil leaves woundz fo' realz. And sometimes, woundz git infected.

 **SAM  
** I don’t understand.

 **MISSOURI  
** This place be a magnet fo' paranormal juice. It’s attracted a poltergeist fo' realz. A nasty one fo' realz. And it won’t rest until Jizzy n' her babies is dead as fuckin fried chicken.

 **SAM  
** Yo ass holla'd there was mo' than one spirit, n' I aint talkin bout no muthafuckin Jack Daniels neither.

 **MISSOURI  
** There is. I just can’t like make up tha second one.

 **DEAN  
** Well, one thang’s fo' damn shizzle- no muthafucka’s dyin’ up in dis doggy den eva again. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So whatever is here, how tha fuck do we stop it?

CUT TO: MISSOURI’S HOUSE. DEAN, SAM, n' MISSOURI is chillin round a table. On tha table is different herbs n' roots.

 **DEAN  
** So, what tha fuck be all dis stuff, anyway?

 **MISSOURI  
** Angelica Root, Van Van oil, crossroad dirt, all dem other oddz n' ends.

 **DEAN  
** Yeah, biatch? What is we supposed ta do wit it?

 **MISSOURI  
** We’re gonna put dem inside tha walls up in tha north, south, eastside, westside corners on each floor of tha house.

 **DEAN  
** We’ll be punchin’ holez up in tha dry wall. Jenny’s gonna ludd that.

 **MISSOURI  
** [slyly] She’ll live.

 **SAM  
** And this’ll fuck wit tha spirits?

 **MISSOURI  
** It should. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Well shiiiit, it should purify tha doggy den straight-up. We’ll each take a gangbangin' floor. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. But we work fast. Once tha spirits realize what tha fuck we’re up to, thangs is gonna git bad.

CUT TO: EXT.- WINCHESTER HOUSE. MISSOURI is struttin JENNY n' her lil playas outside.

 **JENNY  
** Look, I’m not shizzle I’m laid back leavin you muthafuckas here ridin' solo.

 **MISSOURI  
** Just take yo' lil playas ta tha pornos or somethin’, n' it’ll be over by tha time you git back.

JENNY, still slightly unsure, leaves wit her kids. MISSOURI goes back inside.

Inside tha house, SAM goes tha fuck into one of tha rooms wit a hammer n' shiznit yo. Dude kneels down by tha wall n' begins rockin tha end of tha hammer ta hit against tha walls. While he is bustin this, a plug on tha other side of tha room takes itself outta tha outlet fo' realz. A lamp begins ta move on its own also. Da plug snakes its way towardz SAM. Downstairs up in tha kitchen, DEAN is punchin tha wall wit a lil' small-ass ax. Behind him, a thugged-out drawer begins ta open on its own. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. In tha basement, MISSOURI is lookin around. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Biatch brangs a funky-ass bag full of herbs ta tha wall. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch hears a noise n' turns round ta peep a table comin towardz her n' shit. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch screams as it pins her against tha wall. Back up in tha kitchen, DEAN also hears a noise yo. Dude quickly ducks just as a knife hurls itself tha fuck into a cold-ass lil cabinet. DEAN places a table up in front of his dirty ass as mo' knives come all up in dat shit. Upstairs, SAM is choppin a hole up in tha wall. Da lamp crashes ta tha ground. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! SAM turns round ta peep what tha fuck tha noise was, n' tha cord wraps itself round his neck. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM falls ta tha ground, tryin ta git tha cord off. Eventually, he lies weak on tha floor. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. DEAN runs upstairs n' tha fuck into tha room.

 **DEAN  
** Sam!

DEAN rushes over ta SAM n' tries ta git tha cord off yo, but it won’t budge. Instead, DEAN kicks a hole up in tha wall n' places tha ounce ta tha bounce of herbs inside fo' realz. A blindin white light leaves tha room. Once tha spirit is gone, DEAN goes back over ta SAM, whoz ass is straight-up weak. DEAN unravels tha cord from round SAM’S neck n' pulls his ass tha fuck into a gangbangin' fierce hug. Da screen goes black.


	5. ACT FOUR

FADE IN: INT.- WINCHESTER HOUSE fo' realz. A few minutes later, DEAN, SAM, n' MISSOURI is standin up in tha mad messy kitchen.

 **SAM  
** Yo ass shizzle dis is over?

 **MISSOURI  
** I’m sure. Why, biatch? Why do you ask?

 **SAM  
** Never mind. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! [Dude sighs.] It’s nothin’, I guess.

They hear JENNY enta tha house.

 **JENNY  
** Hello, biatch? We’re home. [Bitch comes tha fuck into tha kitchen n' looks around.] What happened?

 **SAM  
** Yea muthafucka, sorry bout dat bullshit. Um, we’ll pay fo' all of all dis bullshit.

DEAN looks confused.

 **MISSOURI  
** Don’t you worry. Dean’s gonna clean up dis mess. [DEAN standz there, not moving.] Well, what tha fuck is you waitin for, boy, biatch? Git tha mop. [Dude begins struttin away.] And don’t cuss at me biaaatch!

DEAN strutts away, mutterin under his breath fo' realz. A lil while later, MISSOURI n' tha thugs leave tha house. JENNY waves n' shuts tha door behind dem wild-ass muthafuckas.

Lata dat night, JENNY is up in bed, readin a magazine. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch yawns n' puts tha magazine on her bedside table fo' realz. Afta turnin off tha light n' slidin underneath tha covers, she goes ta chill fo' realz. A few secondz later, she opens her eyes, startled. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Da bed begins ta shake violently. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch screams n' gets outta bed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Meanwhile, outside, DEAN n' SAM is chillin up in tha car.

 **DEAN  
** All right, so, tell me again, what tha fuck is we still doin’ here?

 **SAM  
** I don’t know. I just…I still gotz a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dirty-ass shitty-ass feeling.

 **DEAN  
** Why, biatch? Missouri did her whole Zelda Rubenstein thang, tha doggy den should be clean, it should be over.

 **SAM  
** Yeah, well, probably. But I just wanna make sure, that’s all.

 **DEAN  
** Yeah, well, problem is I could be chillin up in a funky-ass bed n' aint a thugged-out damn thang dat yo' ass can do.

Dude slides down up in his seat n' closes his wild lil' fuckin eyes. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM looks up at JENNY’S bedroom window n' sees her screaming, just as up in his fuckin lil' dream.

 **SAM  
** Dean. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Look, Dean!

They rush outta tha hoopty n' run towardz tha house.

 **DEAN  
** Yo ass grab tha kids, I’ll git Jenny.

Inside SARI’S bedroom, tha figure made outta fire is standin by her closet. In tha hallway, DEAN rushes ta JENNY’S bedroom door.

 **DEAN  
** Jenny!

 **JENNY  
** I can’t open tha door!

 **DEAN  
** Stand back!

Bitch moves back. DEAN kicks down tha door n' brangs her downstairs.

 **JENNY  
** Fuck dat shit, mah kids!

 **DEAN  
** Sam’s gots yo' kids, come on.

While carryin RITCHIE up in his thugged-out arms, SAM goes ta SARI’S bedroom, where her ass is beatboxin fo' help. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM goes ta SARI’S bed n' picks her up in his other arm.

 **SAM  
** Don’t look. Don’t look! [They leave tha bedroom. Outside, DEAN n' JENNY rush outta tha house. Inside tha house, SAM rushes down tha stairs n' puts tha lil playas down on tha floor.] All right, Sari, take yo' brutha outside as fast as you can, n' don’t look back.

Suddenly, a invisible force make SAM fall ta tha floor yo. Dude slides backwardz tha fuck into another room, crashin tha fuck into a table. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SARI screams n' runs outside wit RITCHIE. They rush outside ta DEAN n' JENNY. DEAN kneels down ta SARI’S eye level.

 **DEAN  
** Sari, where’s Sam?

 **SARI  
** [crying] He’s inside. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Something’s gots his muthafuckin ass.

Panicked, DEAN looks all up in tha front door. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Well shiiiit, it slams shut on its own, n' tha screen goes black.


	6. ACT FIVE

FADE IN: EXT- WINCHESTER HOUSE. DEAN opens tha trunk of tha Impala n' grabs a rifle n' a ax yo. Dude rushes ta tha front door n' begins choppin away at dat shit. Inside tha kitchen, SAM gets flung tha fuck into a set of cabinets yo. Dude standz up n' is pinned against tha wall by tha invisible force yo. Dude can’t move any part of his body. Da fire figure make its way towardz SAM. DEAN continues choppin down partz of tha door. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Eventually, he cook up a hole dat he be able ta step all up in cause I gots dem finger-lickin' chickens wit tha siz-auce yo. Dude strutts all up in tha house, lookin fo' SAM.

 **DEAN  
** Sam, biatch? Sam!

Dude findz SAM fo' realz. As he looks all up in tha fire figure, he raises his wild lil' freakadelic gun.

 **SAM  
** Fuck dat shit, don’t son! Don’t!

 **DEAN  
** What, why?!

 **SAM  
** Because I know whoz ass it is. I can peep her now, nahmeean?

Suddenly, tha fire vanishes. Instead, standin up in front of dem is Mary Winchester, exactly as dat biiiiatch was tha night her dope ass died. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! DEAN’S expression softens. In shock, he lowers his wild lil' freakadelic glock slowly.

 **DEAN  
** [softly] Mom, biatch?

MARY smilez n' steps closer ta his muthafuckin ass.

 **MARY  
** Dean. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. [Tears form up in DEAN’S eyes. MARY strutts away from his ass n' goes ta SAM. DEAN watches her, never takin his wild lil' fuckin eyes off her muthafuckin ass.] Sam. [SAM smilez weakly, bustin up yo. His mother’s smile fades.] I’m sorry bout dat bullshit.

 **SAM  
** For what, biatch?

Bitch looks at his ass sadly yo, but say nothing. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch strutts away from dem n' looks up all up in tha ceiling.

 **MARY  
** Yo ass git outta mah crib fo' realz. And let go of mah son. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

Once again, da hoe bursts tha fuck into flames. When her ass is entirely engulfed, tha fire reaches tha ceilin n' disappears. Da force holdin SAM ta tha wall is busted out. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dude strutts over ta DEAN, n' tha two of dem peep each other, stunned.

 **SAM  
** Now it’s over.

Da next morning, DEAN is standin by tha hoopty wit JENNY, lookin all up in oldschool photos.

 **DEAN  
** Thanks fo' these.

 **JENNY  
** Don’t give props ta me, they’re yours.

DEAN puts tha trunk of photos tha fuck into tha car. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sittin on tha front stepz of tha house, SAM is joined by MISSOURI.

 **MISSOURI  
** Well, there be no spirits up in there no mo', dis time fo' sure.

 **SAM  
** Not even mah mom?

 **MISSOURI  
** No.

 **SAM  
** What happened?

 **MISSOURI  
** Yo crazy-ass mom’s spirit n' tha poltergeist’s juice, they shut down each other out. Yo crazy-ass momma fucked wit her muthafuckin ass goin’ afta tha thang.

 **SAM  
** Why would her dope ass do suttin' like that?

 **MISSOURI  
** Well, ta protect her thugs, of course. [SAM nods, wit tears up in his wild lil' fuckin eyes. MISSOURI goes ta put her hand on his shoulder yo, but her big-ass booty stops her muthafuckin ass.] Sam, I’m sorry bout dat bullshit.

 **SAM  
** For what?

 **MISSOURI  
** Yo ass sensed dat shiznit was here, didn’t yo slick ass, biatch? Even when I couldn’t.

 **SAM  
** What’s goin' down ta me son?

 **MISSOURI  
** I know I should have all tha lyrics yo, but I don’t know.

 **DEAN  
** Sam, you ready, biatch?

SAM nodz n' goes ta tha car. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. JENNY props all of dem wild-ass muthafuckas.

 **MISSOURI  
** Don’t you thugs be strangers.

 **DEAN  
** Us thugs won’t.

 **MISSOURI  
** See you around. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka!

JENNY waves. They smile, git up in tha car, n' drive away.

CUT TO: INT.- MISSOURI’S HOUSE. MISSOURI comes inside n' sets her purse on tha table.

 **MISSOURI  
** That boy…he has such bangin abilities. Put ya muthafuckin choppers up if ya feel dis! But why his schmoooove ass couldn’t sense his own father, I have no idea. [Da camera pans over ta her couch, where JOHN WINCHESTER is chillin.]

 **JOHN  
** Mary’s spirit- do you straight-up be thinkin her big-ass booty saved tha thugs?

 **MISSOURI  
** I do. [JOHN nodz sadly n' twists his weddin rang on his wild lil' finger.] Jizzy Winchester, I could just slap you, biatch. Why won’t you go rap ta yo' children?

 **JOHN  
** [tearfully] I want to. Yo ass have no clue how tha fuck much I wanna peep ‘em. But I can’t. Not yet. Not until I know tha real deal. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack.

They share a look. Da screen fades ta black.


End file.
